波士顿爆炸案后记

我是传奇

在波士顿爆炸案发生后，传奇精神上受到了很大的刺激：三位遇难者或多或少都和传奇有一定联系，伤者中也有传奇认识的人甚至朋友。本来我就有一点其他事情造成的心理阴影，在这一系列事情发生后，整个人的精神近乎崩溃：你们无法想象在一个自己生活了这么久的城市，在自己认识的人和朋友身上发生这么惨的悲剧，甚至自己也差点丧命于此。几个月前还帮过我忙的学姐，转眼间就香消玉殒。虽然自己不是第一次见到死亡，也不是第一次与死亡擦肩而过，但是这是成年以后的第一次，也是最令我难以接受，最令我感到痛苦的一次。
  传奇在学校里有两份工作，一份是给英语非母语的大学第一年新生介绍学校的各种设施和资源，另一项是在社区里辅导小孩阅读，英语等作业。这两份工作基本上可以算是义工性质，自己不仅拿到的工资可以忽略不计，而且还要倒贴学费。在自己帮助的学生中有很多是来自新移民/难民/低收入家庭，有MSL背景的很多。当得知爆炸的嫌疑人，都是刚得到美国居住资格或公民身份的车臣MSL难民时，心中的滋味苦涩不堪——正是自己在帮助的那种人，夺取了自己朋友，同胞的生命，幸福，未来，夺走了一切的一切。我无法理解他们的动机，我无法理解他们为何会对这个给了他们第二次机会的国家，城市下手。更令人心碎的是：爆炸案发生后不到24小时，互联网上就传来了阴谋论，幸灾乐祸，和其他各种冷嘲热讽的声音。怀疑此事是美国ZF作假，怀疑吕令子的身份，等等等等。我不想去一一辩驳，我也没有心情，没有精力去辩驳，我只是觉得伤口被人狠狠地撕大，心中像被子弹持续射中般沉痛。这两周翻来覆去总睡不着，一到夜里，令子的音容笑貌就浮现在脑海中，经常半夜愤怒地咆哮，砸东西，觉得老天爷对她太不公平了！！！总是忍不住去想她的室友和她的父母该怎样去面对这一残酷的事实，甚至我自己都不知道该如何去面对这一事实。

学校的心理辅导员在测试后告诉我说我可能患上了一定程度的创伤后应激障碍症，现在每周去一次心理辅导中心，虽然这几天略开始好转，但是此事件的后续新闻经常出现在我眼前，每当那时，那种悲痛的情绪又涌上心头，脑子一片混乱无法专心干其他的事情。刚才将事件发生后波士顿大学校刊上发布的新闻简单翻译了一下：



Her life was filled with academic achievements and endless promise: the as-yet-unfound boyfriend she had longed for, the Christianity that intrigued her, the foods she enjoyed so much, photos of which she posted on Facebook, and the city that drew her for study.
她一生本应充满着学术成就和无尽的希望： 尚未找到的心上人，令她好奇的基督教，以及那些她在facebook上面贴满的她所喜爱的美食照片，还有这座吸引她前来学习的城市。
Last October, Lu Lingzi put pictures on Facebook under the heading “New Beginning in BU.” Alternately winsome (pursing her lips for a close-up), happy (smiling for the camera at a table, chin propped in her hand), or just grinning with friends or alone by a pond, her 23-year-old’s face appeared untouched by troubles or years.
去年十月，吕令子在facebook上创建了一个名为“在波士顿大学的新开始”的相册。照片里的她恬静迷人，快乐，无论是和朋友们在一起还是一个人在池塘边，她总是笑嘻嘻的。她23岁的年轻面颊看上去完全不受烦恼和时光流逝所打扰。

“I love the Charles River at night!” she posted exuberantly a few days after that first photo batch. She also loved playing the online game Candy Crush with her friend Penchan Arunrerk (SED’13).
“我爱查尔斯河的晚上！”在发了第一张照片后的几天里，她又上传了许多美景。除了喜欢拍照，她也很喜欢和她的朋友Penchan Arunrerk玩一款叫Candy Crush的网络游戏
“I plan to stop the game from now on,” Arunrerk says. “I cannot imagine how her family would feel. I don’t know why this unlucky thing had to happen to her.”
“我打算从现在起停止玩游戏，”Arunrerk说，“我无法想象她的家人此时此刻的感受。我也不明白如此不幸的事情为何残酷地发生在她身上”


Friends describe Lu as optimistic and hardworking. Photo courtesy of Menghan Hu (CAS’13, GRS’13)
在朋友们的眼中，吕令子是个乐观勤奋的女孩。

That question touched off global grieving for Lu (GRS’14), a graduate student in statistics, when she was identified as one of the three killed by blasts at the finish line of the Boston Marathon on Monday. Comments poured in to BU Today following the announcement of her death, and more than 100,000 users of Weibo, a Chinese version of Twitter, mourned her passing, the New Yorker reports.
当她被确认为周一波士顿马拉松爆炸案遇难者之一时，这件事引起了全球范围内对这位学习统计学研究生的哀悼。铺天盖地的评论淹没了《波士顿大学今日》的版面，根据《纽约客》报道，在中国，超过100000名微博用户也在同时哀悼她的离世。

In a statement provided to Boston University, Lu’s family wrote, “We are grieving and at a loss for words to describe the pain and sadness we are experiencing following the sudden passing of our dear daughter, Lingzi. She was the joy of our lives.” The family expressed gratitude for the assistance they have received from the Chinese government, the U.S. State Department, the Boston Police Department, and Boston University. “We are humbled by the compassion, caring, and love we have received from people all over the world….We wish to extend our thoughts, prayers, and sympathy to the other victims of this tragedy and to their families.”
在一份吕令子家属提供给波士顿大学的申明中，吕令子的家人这样写道：“我们对我们挚爱女儿的突然离世所造成的悲痛已无法用任何言辞来表达，她曾是我们这辈子的快乐与幸福。”吕家对中国政府，美国政府以及波士顿警察部门，还有波士顿大学表示了感谢“我们对来自世界各地的同情，关爱感到由衷的感谢….我们也对在这场悲剧中的其他受害者和他们的家庭深表同情并为他们祈祷”

The New York Times writes that Lu’s Chinese hometown newspaper darkened its website to honor a native “who passed away in a faraway place.”
《纽约时报》报道吕令子家乡的报纸将其网页换成黑色以哀悼“一位在遥远异国他乡离世”的同胞

Minhui Zheng recalls a classmate who tried to rise at 7 a.m. (“If she got up at 8, she’d say, ‘I got up late.’”) and would always save Zheng a seat in class. “She was like my speaker,” says Zheng (GRS’14). “She always speaks everything so I didn’t need to say anything. She started to call me Jing Jing, the name of her dog back home. She misses her dog so much.”
郑敏慧（音译） 回忆起她这位总是试着在早上7点起床的同学（“如果她8点起来，她会说‘啊，我又起晚了~’”）。吕令子常常帮她在班上预留着一个座位，“她就像我的代言人”郑说。“她总是把所有能讲的东西都讲完了所以我就不用发言了。她总是叫我‘京京’，那是她在国内家里养的小狗的名字，她很想她的狗狗”

Menghan Hu calls Lu her ballast on difficult days of study. “I was so stressed and worried, but she was so optimistic,” says Hu (CAS’13, GRS’13). She also had a sweet tooth. “She always talked about ice cream,” Hu says. “She could eat a jar by herself. She loved green tea and all the Ben & Jerry’s flavors.”
胡梦涵（音译）把吕令子称为在她那些学习遇到困难的日子中的顶梁柱。“我总是非常紧张非常着急，但是她却很乐观”吕令子也很好吃，“她喜欢谈论冰淇淋”，“她可以一个人吃下一大罐冰淇淋。她喜欢绿茶口味和所有‘ben&jerry’牌的冰淇淋”

Lu was known for her unrelenting work ethic both in and out of the classroom. Originally from Shenyang, which is described by the Times as “a rust-belt hometown” in China, Lu studied international trade at the Beijing Institute of Technology. She came to BU to pursue statistics, where she excelled in her classes, says Tasso Kaper, a College of Arts & Sciences professor and chair of mathematics and statistics. The day before the Marathon, Lu learned that she had passed the first part of the master’s comprehensive examination in statistics. An email from her showed that “she was clearly quite pleased,” says Kaper.
吕令子因她课内外都很勤奋地学习而出名。她原籍沈阳，被《时代》杂志描述为中国的工业重镇，吕令子曾在北京理工大学学习国际贸易。据Tasso Kaper，一位艺理学院的教授以及数学和统计学部门的主任所说，她来到波士顿大学后开始学习统计学，并且在这方面表现得非常优异。
Meihua Lai (CAS’16) (left) and Shuang Hao (COM’16) place flowers at an impromptu memorial for Lu Lingzi (GRS’14) at the base of the Free at Last sculpture in Marsh Plaza on Wednesday. Hao says she felt moved by a recent post on Lu's Facebook page, which read, “If I graduate from here successfully, I will get a good job. If I don’t, I’ll have a brave soul.” Photo by Cydney Scott
赖美华（音译）和郝爽（音译） 将鲜花放在一个为吕令子而建的临时纪念碑上郝说她被吕令子facebook上最后的状态深深地触动了“如果我能从这里顺利毕业，我将得到一份好的工作。如果不能，那么至少我可以获得一份勇敢的灵魂”
She also played the piano, says Youming Liu (GRS’14). “She took piano class here, even though she took four courses.”
据刘有民（音译）所说吕令子也爱弹钢琴，“尽管她已经选了四门专业课，可是她依然多选了一门钢琴课”
“Clearly, Lu Lingzi was in the full glory of an extremely successful year as an MA student, with an extremely bright future ahead of her,” says Kaper. “For us, it is a great personal and professional tragedy to learn that such a bright and energetic young scientist has died. To make matters worse, she had many friends in our department, in actuarial science, and in other departments.”
“毋庸置疑，吕令子是一名充满荣誉并且极其成功的研究生，并且有着非常光明的前途。”Kaper教授说到，“对于我们而言，无论是作为朋友还是教师，得知吕令子这样一名如此优秀，充满活力的年轻科学家的早逝都令我们万分悲痛。 更令人揪心的是，她在我们系里面有很多很多的朋友，在精算系和其他部门里面也是”

Among the outpourings on Weibo, the Times reports one that poignantly captured the human evil that cut short her life:
在微博上的众多留言中，《时代》杂志节选了这样一句诗尖锐地批判了邪恶地夺走她生命的行为：
“You are in heaven now, where there are no bombs.”
“你现在已经在天堂了，在一个没有炸弹的地方”