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很有趣的一个家伙呢。
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http://tieba.baidu.com/p/1796415254
4chan 看到的，笑死我了.....
大家在谈自已做DM时，看过的白目玩家，然后有人说了下面的故事
==
3R 团，主要都是新手玩家
当中一个比较” 经验” 的玩家是骑马的 弓箭流游侠
在游戏开始时，他独自在前方探路
发现一只大型的会说话的狼
赏试隐藏自已并伏击
狼 对他微笑并打招呼
热衷於社交的狼是阴险的，但并没有敌意
骑马佬 回头一看
不再独自冒险？回去找队友？
不！
他在掩体中射击那只狼
独自！
攻击一个无敌意，并将会是整个队伍的遭遇 的生物
两轮后
狼按住了骑马佬
并打碎了他的弓
警告他他惹毛了整个山谷的狼群
DM：我并不想那样早就杀了任何人，特别是一个新手团，但我立刻后悔这个决定，因为——
“我切掉自已的尾指作为祭品献给黑暗之神，请求他干掉巨狼”
待续
>Argue about even being able to attract the attention of one's god like that
争论有没有可能用这种方法去引自己所信仰的神的注意
>Something something you're not even a cleric, something something knowledge (religion)
而这样做的人连牧师都不是，是的连牧师都不是，甚至甚至连宗教知识都没有 (翻译不能，故 意译)
>Drop that argument, go over the mechanics involved in cutting off your finger while pinned
停止争论，看看关於被人固定时，自切手指的规则吧
>Determine that at the very least it would incur an AoO, which would drop Horseguy into the negatives
最最起码，我会判定这会有个AOO，可以直接将骑马佬打到负血
>Wolf leaves unsmote
巨狼没有攻击，就离开了
>Horseguy starts talking about how his character is going to commit suicide because he's useless without his bow
骑马佬 开始描述他的角色打算去自杀，回为没了弓他就是个废物
>Remind him about Mending spell
让我想起了 修复术
I know there are like a dozen points in this story at which I could have stopped this nonsense and let his character die off. I had never dealt with a player like this before (or since) and, again, didn't want to kill off anyone this early.
我知道，故事中大概有一打的机会该我停止这蠢事，并让他的角色去死。但我在这之前(之后也是) 没有处理过这样的玩家，并且，我不想在游戏早期弄死任何角色
>Horseguy finally saddles up and returns to party
骑马佬最后上了马，并回到队伍中
>This bullshit took like an hour 这一大堆蠢事花了我一个小时
>Giant and halfling bandit team roaming around the area
巨人和半身人组成一伙强盗，在一个地区行凶
>Giant had already out-barbarianed the (minotaur) barbarian (who had also run off ahead on his own, because Horseguy had already proven how brilliant a tactic that was)
巨人已经绑走了一个牛头人蛮子(他自已一个人去开，因为骑马佬证明了这是一个超天材的战术行动)
> arty finds tracks, evidence of combat
小队追踪到痕迹，和战斗的证据
>Horseguy either forgets or neglects to track the prints
骑马佬并没有无视或者忘记去追踪脚印
>Instead
取而代之
>STEALTHMODE ENGAGE
秘密行动开始！(翻译不能
>Horseguy, the "experienced" player, whips party into a paranoid frenzy as they approach the edge of an abandoned village
骑马佬，那个”有经验”的玩家，在接近一个废弃的村庄的边缘时，将队伍推进.妄想的狂怒中 (翻译不能
>Listen and spot reveal nothing significant
聆听和侦察甚麼都没有发现
>GIANT MONSTERS SNEAKING SOMEWHERE AROUND HERE GUYS
“大家！超大只怪兽在这里附近潜行著！”
>Horseguy whips up some convoluted plan
骑马佬激发了非常复杂的计划
>Him and rogue take point, horse about a hundred feet behind, rest of party behind horse
他和游荡者在前面，马在100尺之后，其他人在马后面
>Takes about 45 minutes to get into the very first house on the empty outskirts of the village
花了45分钟，去到村子最最最边缘的第一间房
>There was never a threat in the first place
但到最后都没有发生战斗
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Horseguy: the finale: the beginning
骑马佬：大结局：起始
>arty has just cleared out an abandoned alchemist's lab, emerge onto the street to hear a very obvious non-stealthed giant
队伍清理了一个被遗弃的炼金术实验室，回到大街上，清楚的听到没有行的巨人(后半句翻译不能
>Battle formations
战斗队形
>Successful combat, tricked giant into barreling headfirst into a pit of acid back in the lab
打胜了，欺骗到巨人冲入实际室的强酸池中
>Wizard blinds the halfling, who surrenders
法师盲了半身人，半身人投降
>arty plans to use him as a GPS to save the barbarian that he kidnapped and robbed
队伍打算用半身人当GPS去拯救被绑架的蛮子
>Horseguy shoots him
骑马佬射击半身人
>The blinded, surrendered, bound, now-harmless Halfling
>That was going to lead them to their friend
那个又盲，又投降，又绑住的，同意去带大家去救队友，完全人畜无害的半身人
>Entire party is pissed at Horseguy
整个队伍都不爽骑马佬
>Allow cleric to jump in front of the arrow, saving Halfling
同意牧师跳出来，以身作盾去救半身人
>arty is still pissed at Horseguy
队伍还是超不爽骑马佬
>Horseguy is notching another arrow
骑马佬射 再次拔箭
>Roll initiative
投先攻
>Wizard wins, casts Blindness
法师先动，放了 至盲术
>Fortitude vs permanently blind
过强检定，不然永久性眼盲
>Guess who fails his saving throw
猜猜谁输了？
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Horseguy: the finale: the middle
骑马佬：大结局：中段
>A little arguing over the results of the roll, ways to avoid the spell
在投骰结果和避开法术上有一点争论
>"Can my horse block the spell?"
“我的马可以挡那个法术吗？)
>Nothing to argue about, dice are final
无可争论，骰子就是一切
>Horseguy leaves table almost crying
骑马佬离开桌子时，变乎哭了
>Take over his character in continuing combat
在接下来的战斗中拿过他的角色
>Wizard (who is actually Horseguy's friend off the table) gets three calls
法师(在现实中是骑马佬的朋友) 收到三个电话
>One is pleading, begging him to undo his spell
一通是恳求，乞求他去消解那个法术
>Nope
不行
>One is arguing the numbers again
一通是再次争论骰子数目
>They're still final and everyone knows what he rolled
但米已成炊，每个人都看到他投了甚麼数字
>One is him pretending to have sex with Wizard's girlfriend
一通是他假装自已正在个法师的女友在做那个XX爱XX
>Moaning and calling her name in the phone
在电话中呻吟的叫著她的名字
>I offer Wizard the opportunity to undo the spell, because it's eaten up about half a session so far
我给法师一个机会去取消那个法术，因为这花了我个一半的跑团时间
>Declines
拒绝
>Horseguy returns to table, red-faced
骑马佬红著脸回到桌上
>Demands to rewind to where he left
要求回带到他离开时
>"I make a sacrifice to my dark god to smite Wizard"
“我向所信仰的黑暗之神进行献祭，以毁灭法师！”
Horseguy: the finale: the end
骑马佬：大结局：完结
>Horseguy is trying to cut off his hand or something
骑马佬试图去切掉自已的手之类
>Remind him that party is still trying to kill him
提醒他整个队伍都很想杀掉他
>Remind him that he's sitting on his horse and is probably using his hands to balance, considering he's blind
提醒他他骑在马上要用一只手平衡，同时他还盲了
>Backpedals
(翻译不能)
>Manages to escape entire party, though decently wounded first
打算离开整个队伍，尽管身上带伤
>Leaves city
离开城市
>arty doesn't bother pursuing
队伍没有操心要去追回他
>Outside city
城市外
>"I sacrifice all my limbs to my dark god to smite Wizard"
“我献祭出我所有的肢体给黑暗之神，以求毁灭法师”
>How.jpg
怎样做？
>"My horse helps"
“我的马帮我”
>He doesn't have the HP to actually pull that stunt off and will kill himself in the process
他并没有足够的HP去切光自已的手脚，他在过程中肯定会死掉
>Decide to just get this nonsense over with
打算让这蠢事一了百了
>Dark god appears, makes fun of him for a while
黑暗之神出现了，耍了他一会
>"I sacrifice... the eyes of a ranger"
“我献祭出……. 游侠的利眼”
>Nope, someone beat you to it
不行，你是被人弄盲的
>Eventually work out an OOTS deal - every relative in the world sacrificed for Wizard
最后达成了一个OOTS 风格的交易-他为了毁掉法师，献祭出他所有的亲戚
>"Okay"
“OK~”
>World has noticably fewer elves
世界上的精灵数目明显少了
>Dark god bisects Wizard
黑暗之神将法师 “仁” 掉
>Wizard laughs and leaves the table with Horseguy to go play Magic or something
法师大笑著离开了桌子，然后和骑马佬去玩魔法风云会之类
>Session ends after three straight hours of bullshit 这个团在三个小时的蠢事中完结 |
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发表于 2012-8-18 00:43:28
见人(?)就打，这厮是不是踢门游戏玩多了
